|“Do not tell anyone of this" were the words spoken to me as my mom and
not on what was about to happen but of missing cheer leading practice.
The room was filled with many girls and to my mom’s dismay we saw someone we
knew. I sat in a room waiting for my name to be called just like any other doctor’s
appointment but this was like no other. They said it won't hurt; it did! They said it
would be over real quick; it has lasted 29 years!
Eleven years after my first abortion, I was having my seventh. I was in the same
waiting room, walking the same hall, wearing the same gown, taking the same pill,
and laying on the same table. To this abortionist’s dis-gust, my pregnancy was
further along and required more of his time.
Several hours later the vacuum-like noise broke a decade-old trance – “what have I
done?” I began to weep uncontrollably, and this enraged the abortionist. His
gestures were rough, and he was morbidly pleased to have me see his bloody
garments when he was finished. The nurse quickly moved me to the recovery room
and gave me crackers. Within 10 minutes I was rushed out the back door and
nauseous on my way home.
Eleven years, three clinics, two states, seven abortions, and not once was I told of
the physical risks I would suffer later: the necessity of bi-lateral mammograms and
fear of breast cancer; ovarian cysts; being bed ridden for five months in my last
pregnancy and having to explain the possibly of “mommy dying” to my four young
children due to placenta previa, which resulted in my losing all but two pints of
blood; and, a partial hysterectomy at delivery.
Not once was I told of the emotional trauma I would suffer; uncontrollable anger
flamed by betrayal, unspeakable seclusion, and the inability to trust. That child loss
through choice would devour my dignity as I justified the twisted truth. Or that
deception would slowly creep into all areas of my life including the need to discretely
reveal several of my abortions as miscarriages. Desperate and deplorable I did
I was never told I would feel like I was the only one going crazy. Everyone talks
about the “right to choose;” but no one talks about the choice; which in my case led
to sabotaging many life joys. I will never forget hearing my firstborn’s heartbeat.
Instead of joy I was in shock, terrified that the nurses could see right through me
and what I had done to my other children.
I was never told you would need to grieve and cry for your unborn; that your life
would be forever altered by the horrors of your ‘chosen’ loss, tormented by the
innate longing to hold and know your dead children and their dreams. Or that my
five living children would suffer with an impossible mom; trapped by the hidden
sadness of her gullible past.
Through divine intervention in 1990, I participated in an abortion recovery program.
Awestruck, I was able to face and be released from my secret sorrows. And finally, I
was able to mourn my seven baby boys publicly.
Today my mom joins me in telling others that abortion hurts women. I was wrong.
Abortion was not the right answer for my untimely pregnancies. This mom of 12
children chooses to be a voice of truth. Abortion is a private prison that sucks the
life out of you and your children, and their children, and their children.
|Joyce is the host of
Beyond the Bandaide, a
radio talk-show. Her
experience includes guest
hosting on Daystar’s
Denver Celebration TV.
Joyce appears with Norma
McCorvey, who was "Jane
Roe" of Roe v. Wade in the
documentary "I Was
Joyce co-facilitates the
conference call for HIS A.
Yahweh). Visit HisArmy.
net for more information
Joyce's story of
childhood sexual abuse
and child loss through
choice (abortion) is also
featured in the book
by Jane Brennan.
Joyce has served as the
National Director of
Women's Outreach, the
Colorado State Leader
and the chair of the
Operation Outcry (OO).
She has produced and
hosted OO’s radio show,
Voices Of Abortion, and
she produced the first
season of OO’s TV
show, Faces Of
She has served as the
for Pure By Choice, a
dedicated to the
advancement of the
purity revolution and as
a board member of
Hope, A Place of Rest, a
ministry for pregnancy
She has volunteered
with pregnancy care
centers across the
nation and her
loss programs; special
event planning, media
advocacy and training
She has also served as
the Director of Colorado
|Trinity Legal Center • 11120 Wurzbach, Suite 206
San Antonio, TX 78230 • 210-697-8202
The Trinity Legal Center is a nonprofit litigation and legislation support center