|When I was 15, I met a 17-year-old Choctaw Indian from Oklahoma, and we
began dating. Suspecting I was pregnant, my mother took me to the family
doctor who confirmed I was. Neither my mother nor my doctor mentioned
abortion. I had never heard the word, nor did I know what an abortion was.
Like so many other young ladies during that time, (1976), I had to lay down my
dreams of running track in hopes of a scholarship and becoming a nurse. During
my 11th grade year I quit school as my pregnancy became obvious.
At the age young age of 16, I married and gave birth to a son. Shortly after his
birth, I moved to Calfornia to begin my new life as a Marine wife and mom. I had
just turned 17.
During my son’s first birthday party, I recognized the familiar symptoms of
“morning sickness.” At the insistence of my husband, I was to start a business
college in the fall of that year in hopes of bringing in extra income for the family.
We were barely surviving on enlisted pay.
While driving around one day, I saw a sign offering free pregnancy tests. Needing
to confirm that I was pregnant, I walked in. I left with three statements playing
over and over in my head: “It’s just tissue;” “It’s like pulling a tooth;” and, “Your
life will be back to normal.” With those words, the counselor introduced me to
abortion. After telling my husband what the counselor said, he advised me to
have an abortion as he felt we could not afford another child.
As my husband drove me to the center early that morning, I ignored the uneasy
feeling I had in the pit of my stomach. Not long after I arrived, my name was
called. What I remember from that day was that the pain was so horrendous, I
When I awoke I was covered in blood and sweat. It was as if I had taken a
shower. I was shaking uncontrollably and couldn't stop crying. In only the terms
that I know how to describe, it felt like a part of me died that day, and it did. I
walked out of there a different person.
What was supposed to be quick and simple lasted all day. When I returned
home, I bled heavily for three days. I did not know this was called hemorrhaging.
I knew I should to go to the hospital, but I didn’t.
Miraculously I survived, but I experienced a type of shame I had never known
before. A silence that took away my voice; I vowed to never speak about what
had happened. For the first time in my life, I entertained suicidal thoughts.
My next two pregnancies were not normal. I started to develop physical illnesses,
migraines, seizures, depression, psychiatric problems, including hospitalization. I
missed moments of bonding with my other children during that time that I
cannot get back.
For the next 22 years, shame and silence took over my life. Ironically, the same
month I had my abortion, July of 2001, I stumbled upon a poem I had written
many years earlier in a journal. “Rescue the lame where you were put to shame,
I'll renew your faith and bring you to fame.”
I said a little prayer after reading that poem asking for direction in what it meant.
Eight months later the answer came in the form of an affidavit for women who
had been hurt by abortion. Shortly after my affidavit was submitted, I received a
call from a lady who asked me to speak to the Oklahoma state representatives in
hopes of bringing other women forward to speak the truth about abortion
through press conferences in our State Capitol and the Capitol of the United
After much thought and consideration, I made the choice to come out of the
shame and silence. In making that decision, I not only gained MY voice, but I gave
voice to my child – a child that I later learned was between 12 and 14 weeks, had
fingers and toes, and could feel pain.
My abortion was not quick and simple as promised. It was a choice with lifelong
consequences, which is the story of thousands of women now coming forward.
Today with 3-D and 4-D technology, women are still being told abortion is quick
It’s time the truth continued to be told through whatever means we have such as
affidavits, courts, media, print and journalism. The life of our nation de-pends on
it. We must be “Silent No More.”
|Cynthia has mobilized women to
come forward and speak the truth
about abortion through press
conferences at the State Capitol in
Okahoma City, OK.2003-2007;
D.C. 2003-2011; and, Life After
Abortion, Congres-sional Screening.
Cynthia is represented
on amicus briefs in U.S.
Supreme Court cases,
including the Motion to
overturn Roe v Wade;
Gonzales v Carhart (the
Partial Birth Abortion
case); and, Acuna v
participat-ed in 40 Days
for Life and featured in
inter-views on Fox News
(local); Tulsa World
Radio with Carmen
Pate; KFAQ Radio;
Magazine,Tulsa, OK; and,
the book, Mother-hood
Cynthia is the mother of
three sons and was a
Marine wife for 14 years.
She graduated from
College, Anaheim, CA in
1979. She attended
Still-water, OK, majoring
in Special Education.
She has served on
mission trips to Houston
and Corpus Christi,
Texas with the OSU-
Baptist Student Union
while attending College.
Cynthia resides in Tulsa,
Oklahoma and is a
senior at ORU, major-ing
in Public Relations and
Cynthia is available for
Contact us if you would
like to schedule Cynthia
to speak --
|Art by Cynthia
|"... it felt like a part of
me died that day … I
experienced a type of
shame I had never